Well I was talking to this really hot bird I met when I was on my holidays but my house caught fire and I had to hang up really suddenly because the flames were lapping around near the turn-ups of my trousers and the phone melted and then I ran out of the house and accidentally dropped my mobile phone into a cesspit and I'd lost the piece of paper she'd written her phone number down on and I couldn't phone her because I'd stored the number in the other phones (now melted and drowned in cess) and eventually I decided to drive to a local library to look up her phone number on the internet. Her name is Renate Codswallop and she lives in a small village called Frogsbourne, in Derbyshire, and I thought this wouldn't be too difficult to find. It wasn't.
However, dear Auntie, my problems are now threefold:
- I haven't got any phones left
- Who's going to believe that story?
- My wife didn't believe it either.
What shall I do?
Yours,
Declan Bonklecroncher, FRSA
xxx
4 comments:
Absence, (of phonecalls) makes her heart grow fonder. She'll be gagging for it by now.
But Is she worth the effort?...Is she loaded? does she own her own house? Contact the Geological Survey to make sure it's not an a fault-line.
If all checks out you can always contact her on Skype. Women love tech savy blokes.
Re, the wife not believing your story, take a hypnosis course.
Hope this helps:)
Wow! Thanks Chris P! I've done the hypnosis course, and I left my wife with the bit of the house which hasn't burnt down. I think after all this, that bird ought to be buying me a new phone, don't you?
Declan, just make sure that she knows all about your love of computer games - it's become a real Girl-Power thing now, what with the Wiyi and the Nintendo DT's. What girls really love is stats, stats and more stats. So, tell her al about how you beat the chief Balrog in Ultimate Warcrofting and how many spice trading trips you need to make in Galactic Trader lll before you can buy the grain modifier. She'll be putty in your hands - I guarantee it!
Wow! And there was I, thinking that the hot bird would be thinking that I'm a right twat. With you guys' help, I can see totally how to redeem myself. She won't be thinking I'm twat at all, will she?
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