Dear Agony Auntie,

My name is Warren. Somehow I always seem to be full of rabbits. Please could you suggest a cure for the problem?

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours,

Warren + 14,532 bunnies (and numbers rising all the time)

Shrewsbury Aftermath

Just back from the Shrewsbury Cartoon Festival, where I attended dinners where it was not only OK to draw on the tablecloth, but it was expected. I was doing my cartoon (about gherkins) on one side of the table, and explaining that cross-hatching is a calming, almost meditative thing to do...

In the meantime, Steve Bright was doing the following portrait:



I was deeply touched when he presented me with the item, which he had carefully torn from the tablecloth, the following day. He blushed prettily and shuffled his feet.

Dear Agony Auntie,

My name is Wally. For some reason, women seem to treat me as though I'm a prat. Have you any idea why this is?

I'm going to be singing and dancing at this event ...

...and a couple of my cartoons will be in the exhibition and I will be helping Chichi Parish with the 'Birds of Paradise' workshop on Saturday and you can find out all the gory details here

If you're in the area, please do drop in! The date(s) for your diary are 24th-26th April.

Illustration Friday - Impossibility

Bertie had yet to grasp the impossibility of making a fortune as a treasure hunter.

Illustration Friday - Fleeting

Betsy had a fleeting yet strangely persistent sensation that she and Damien were not alone in the bed ...

Dear Agony Auntie,

My name is Russell. People keep telling me to 'Sssshhh' during quiet moments at the cinema, but I just don't understand why.

Have you got any ideas?

Dear Agony Auntie ...

This is the first time I've ever had a problem and so it is the first time I've written to a problem page like this one.

You see I think my boyfriend doesn't care about me any more. Two days ago when he was round here he accidentally forgot to put sugar in my tea and so I got really angry and swore at him, hit him with an oven glove(which was on fire at the time) and threw a chair at him. Then I tipped him out of a first floor window. Then he tried to get back in the house and I blasted him with a shotgun. He ran away and hasn't been in touch since.

Don't you think that if he really cared, he'd be trying to contact me? I just feel so sad and rejected. He used to say I had anger management issues, but I'm ****** if I know what he's talking about. Can you help?

Yours,

One of the girlies in the 'Rambunctious' illustration, December 12th 2008

Illustration Friday - Talisman

Here Edna is showing Gertie her talisman. It's a lucky 'rabbit's foot' and is all she has to show from her days as a Playboy Bunny. Well, almost ...

They say society's to blame for obesity ...

... I'll say!

Why, there's a secret society near my ranch in Texas (they're so secret I don't know what they're called) and they regularly come round to my home, 56 of them sit on me so I can't move, and they FORCE FEED me with MacDonald's stuff. Yep, force feed me!

They then hang around with pitchforks to make sure I don't throw the stuff up again. In fact they make sure I wash it all down with chocolate milkshakes! Of course, being on the receiving end of this kind of treatment has caused my weight to rise to approximately 438lb.

And then, to cap it all, they've narrowed all my doors so I can't get out to go to the gym!!!!

Yeah, society's to blame all right!