Frogg he would a-wooing go ... 21st century style ...

Mervyn's friend, Selwyn Frogg, has decided to find himself a new lady friend. Not for him a traditional courtship involving flowers, chocolates and the like ... here's his Internet Dating Advertisement:

Name: Selwyn Frogg
Age: Secret
Height: Depends if I'm stretched out or not
Hair colour: No hair, but my skin is beautifully marked and shades of green
Eye colour: Sort of frog colour

Likes: The slime at the bottom of ponds, flies and worms, lilypads
Dislikes: Herons and grass snakes
Hobbies: Hop-stepping and jumping, morris dancing

Personal statement:

We frogs feature in many a fairy story with a happy ending - so don't be shy, girls!
I txt msged four characters to see if they could sum me up in a few words. They were:

a) My wife (she used to be a princess, you know!)
b) My best mate, Mervyn
c) Just dialling at random
d) My mother

The responses I got were, respectively:

a) Who the **** are you?
b) You're my besshhst mate ... hic ...
c) Who the **** are you?
d) Who the **** are you?

So who could resist that?

Remember, girls, if you want to find Prince Charming you've got to kiss Frogg a lot!

Illustration Friday - Routine

Mervyn's back! He's in his usual state! He and his friends are performing a stick dancing routine.

Note his friend - on the right hand side of the pic - that's Selwyn Frogg. He will shortly be going a-wooing, so watch this space.

I've been and gone and done the Race for Life ...

...but I've only just got the photographic evidence to prove it. There were five of us from the Occupational Therapy Department of our hospital; here's the logo we used for our t-shirts:

The wording was arrived at after some discussion; 'We've Escaped From Penn Hospital' was rejected on the grounds that the NHS might not like it.

Here are some highlights of the race...

This first one doesn't show anyone from our team; this is because we were so fast that we'd gone out of view before the shutter - or its digital equivalent - fell:


This is our lot with our medals once we'd finished:


And this one shows me and Sam (female) just past the finishing line. For those of you who've never seen me in the flesh, I'm the dark-haired one in the middle of the photie. Well, when I say dark-haired one, it still is dark in places. Honest:


It was wonderful fun. To my surprise, I managed to jog the first 1 1/2km without any bits falling off my joints, and was certainly able to manage a sprint for the last 500m. It was poignant and heartening to see how many people had turned up - hundreds if not thousands - all ages, sizes and shapes.

If anybody out there is contemplating going in for this sort of thing - GO FOR IT!!!

Illustration Friday - Baby!

Eros, as featured in this piece, is only a baby god. According to Robert Graves, he was the most irresponsible of all the Olympians, and when you read all their shenaniggans ... well, they make my back garden look like a suburban backgarden. This piece is packed with other references to myths, too - you may already have spotted Icarus.

Anyway, this highly erudite piece is something to which you can append your own interpretation. Answers on a postcard, please ...

Nature, red in breast, tooth and claw

While lily beetles have been indulging in orgies in my front garden, the back garden has been host to a series of domestic dramas ...

Spring sprang into action with a pair of blue tits visiting my nest box. They were carrying estate agents' details, were measuring up for curtains and all that sort of thing. They were serious. However, several days passed and I saw no blue tit activity other than acrobatics on the seed feeders. Several more days passed, and the only person I noticed going into the nest box was a bumble bee. I didn't investigate the gender of the latter, but for the purposes of this discussion let's call it 'he'. He seemed to be a very frequent visitor and, indeed, still is. I felt that a bumblebee and blue tits in one confined space was not good news, though the fact that the bumblebee was still alive meant that he hadn't stung anyone.

The blue tits seemed to have deserted the nest.

However, it soon became apparent that the real cause of the exodus was probably not the bumblebee, but a pair of these (red breasts) who had taken up residence:



These charming birds are so aggressive you would not believe it! There were only transient visitors to the back garden from then on. Any brave bird who dared venture into the back garden was treated to a torrent of personal abuse which questioned their heritage, parentage and the size of their *******, prior to a thorough going over with robins' poo.

No wonder things became very quiet.

And then I became aware of these little warriors creating quite a lot of noise ... a predator which even they could not repel had entered the garden ...



Whoops, sorry, wrong pic. We all know that Falafel's far too short sighted to do any harm to birds, but look who'd really arrived:



Oh OK then, it was only a domestic moggie that lives next door, but this demanded instant action. I put a new battery into my cat repeller:




So far, it seems to have worked.

Fornicating Couples in MY GARDEN

I've been out in the garden today - yep, there were several hours of uninterrupted sunshine. Well, cloudy grey bits with no rain anyway. And then it rained.

But I digress.

I have several pots full of lovely lilies. A few days ago I noticed three fornicating pairs of lily beetles ON MY LILIES.

And this is what your lilies will look like when they've finished:



So it was obvious that coitus interruptus was called for, without their knowledge or consent (though it did occur to me that this might have been the 'first time' for all of them, and that they'd think that this always happened). Then followed the tedious task of seeking out their disgusting larvae (the little grubs cover themselves with their own excrement to protect them from marauding birds. Not surprisingly, it works well). And their eggs, which being bright orange stand out quite well against the green foliage. They're nothing like as large as hens' eggs, though, so you have to look quite hard. As somebody who enjoys an occasional bit of 'seek and destroy' as an afternoon's entertainment, I did find it quite therapeutic.

In the meantime, interesting developments have been afoot in the back garden - but I'll leave those for another day ...

From racing around in cars ...

...well, dunno so much about the racing. More like proceeding at a tentative pace whilst trying to locate reverse gear. But not normally the latter when I'm travelling along 'A' Roads.

However, I'm joining in the Race for Life on June 18th, all in aid of Cancer Research. As some of you will be aware, I've had experience of some of the nasty things they do to you whilst establishing whether or not you've got cancer. Whilst these did not rank high in the list of 'Unpleasant Things Which They Do To You In Hospitals', my repeated visits did concentrate the mind wonderfully.

If anyone out there would like to sponsor me, there's a special widget so you can do so online ... on the right hand side of this blog!

Many thanks should any of you feel so moved ...