Illustration Friday - Blues

Cedric has already amassed a collection of blues;  now he's about to pick some complementary oranges.

How crime makes life INEFFICIENT

Sometimes I reflect on how much of my life is spent on security - you know, just making sure things are locked an' all that, because actually you can't trust your fellow human beings to leave you alone.

Computer security takes you to dizzying new heights of paranoia, though.  Again, I spend so much time deleting spam from my inbox;  I've got the 'message rules' bit set to dump these messages in the plop bucket.  I then end up checking the 'Deleted items' anyway, just in case something I need to see has been put in there.

A while ago there were five Trojans lurking in my virus vault, and I was obliged to seek advice as to their care.  Luckily I stopped them before they started working ...

And I've downloaded various bits of software which are supposed to protect you from Armageddon,  at which they are quite effective - by stopping any Interweb connection at all.

Anyway, to celebrate all these happenings, I'm starting on a series of illustrations. Here's the first one.

Illustration Friday - Juggle

It was a misread recipe for jugged hare which incidentally launched Gilbert's circus career.

This is what I've been doing today

I can't claim credit for the concept of being addicted to cold turkey;  no, that accolade belongs to a mad, bald Geordie with a blue Vauxhall Astra (with a guitar in the back).  The rest of it's mine, all mine though!

Apart from that, I've been preparing for an interview as an Occupational Therapy Technical Instructor.  They wanted me to prepare a timetable of activities for patients - who would be people with mental health problems, in an acute ward.  I sent my ideas to a friend of mine, who has lots of experience of this sort of thing (as an OT rather than a patient), for feedback.

One of my proposed items is spiritual practice, but by means of guided meditation rather than Bible readings, which aren't likely to be very helpful to any non-Christians or atheists.  She also pointed out that you never know how many Jesus Christs you'd already have in the room anyway!  

I'd forgotten how surreal working with this client group can be!

Blugger is trying out New Adventures

Is anyone else having this problem with Blogger?  It seems to have changed selected items in my profile into German.  It states my astrological sign as 'Krebs', which, if I remember correctly, is actually 'Cancer' rather than 'Scorpio'.  As a dedicated Scorpio, with Scorpio rising and Mars and Pluto also in this rather scuttly sign (nice to have an integrated personality I always think) I am somewhat perturbed about this, especially as the option to change it seems to have vanished.

Still, I guess that we're dealing with the unholy world of cyberspace so anything could happen ...

Illustration Friday - Wedding

The theme for this week is 'wedding', but due to a typographical error this one has come out as 'Weeding' and is a bit of a warning about remembering to wear strong gloves when you're weeding.

Plants can be very dangerous - this has been celebrated in literature by such works as 'The Day of the Triffids' and in music: 'Be Careful of the Flowers cos I'm sure they're Going To Get You', but you can see very clearly from this illustration that lots of planty-type things will bite back, given half a chance.

Certainly, when I trim my pyracantha hedge, it's usually a 1-1 draw, and it takes approximately the same length of time for the bits I've removed from IT, and the bits it's removed from ME, to grow back.

As a concession to the original theme given by IF, this pic at least has lots of white in it.  Sorry.

Today's the Day ...

An air of expectancy hangs over the neighbourhood.  Some have gathered together their worldly goods and placed them carefully in front of their dwellings at sunrise this morning;  some did so under the cover of darkness last night.  Offerings from gardens take their places beside the detritus of everyday life.  Recent happenings are recorded in newspapers and journals, yet these too are sacrificed.

The grey sky and total lack of wind add to the impression of stillness.  Yet this is not a tranquil stillness;  those who would flee the area have already done so.  Those who are not yet prepared are nevertheless aware that all routes from here may be blocked by the huge, all-consuming vehicles belonging to THEM - and shudder!

Yep, today's the day Worcestershire County Council send their recycling lorries round!

Falafel in the bathroom

Climbing radiators is a strangely pointless activity, but one which has brought pleasure to at least one small fluffy critter.  This is how it goes:

1)  Find a radiator.  Preferably a REALLY COOL one, or you burn your paws.



2)  Climb up the back of it, bracing yourself between the rad and the wall:



3)  Emerge



4)  Maybe one day I'll find a way out of this dratted bathroom, even if the climbing doesn't work:

Mervyn's taken up Ceroc!

Mervyn has graduated from Morris Dancing, where, to be honest, his inebriation did not cause him to stand out from the other practitioners.

He now appears at Ceroc classes.  'Hello', he will say to any lady newts who have not passed out through the alcohol fumes. 'Is thish yor firsht time here?' 'No!' the lady newt will reply. 'I've been here every day for the last six months, and danced with you long enough to have my nail varnish removed by the alcoholic fumes of your breath!'  'Oh good', he will respond.'Sshfootworkssh really tricky with thissssh one isshent it'.

Those of you familiar with Ceroc as a dance form may misinterpret his pose as a 'signal'.  It isn't. He's just trying to locate a wall against which he can lean, in order to look cool.  At least cooler than he would flat out on the floor.

Propaganda Machine

Falafel is a master of spin, and here's a picture of his propanda machine.  I thought you might be interested to see how his merry-go-round of a life actually functions.   Actually, he's in the bath at the moment.  
When I say this, I hasten to add that the bath hasn't actually got any water 
in it right now, but it does have his toys and things to play with while his storage crate is being cleaned out.  When I say storage crate, this is because he lives in a customised one rather than a cage.  He doesn't really do cages. Not the way they're meant to be done;  he would cheerfully spend all night gnawing on the bars given half a chance.

I don't use sawdust in his crate because it gets stuck in his long plumes;  shredded paper is much better, and this is a very good way to use sensitive information which might be useful to people who want to steal my identity.  If they really want to go through my bins and then stick together bits of paper generously laced with hamster wee ... well they're nearly as mad as I am, and are probably entitled to my identity.  I also found it was a strangely symbolic use of old tax returns.

I've done a website!

Yes!  I now have my very own website, with pictures and a history of me on and everything! Interested parties - who haven't already been pressured into 
checking it for bugs and fleas - can take a look here.

It was great fun and games building it, not least because I was obliged to do it all through Internet Explorer.  On my computer IE likes to shut down to have a cup of tea and a nap at regular intervals - usually when I'm in the middle of doing something which needs a lot of concentration.

I thought I might go out to play last weekend but then realised that if I did, I would go around obsessing about the ****** thing, so I might as well get on and finish it.  I find that I can get as hooked on things like this as lovesick people do on the object of their passions!

The Nursery Rhymes are finished, Keith Donnelly is off making the music to go with it, I'll have to write a covering letter with proper worms in, and then it's off!!!

Right, I'd better get on with clearing up the chaos I call a studio ...

Oooer ... I've been tagged ... twice ...!

Firstly, by Penny from Natural Attrill, and, secondly, by Chris from Raven Madness.  Links for both of these appear to the right.

I have to tag 8 other people. This is not compulsory, and if I have chosen you, and you don't fancy joining in, that is fine. Here are the rules:

1. Let others know who tagged you.

2. Players start with 8 random facts about themselves.

3. Those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.

4. Players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.


Anyway, my random facts are as follows:

1.  I used to do a lot of dancing and am still flexible enough to bite my own toenails.

2.  I am a stationery fetishist - I particularly like stripy paperclips.

3.  I HATE custard.

4.  I feel very uncomfortable when handling aluminium foil.  It makes my teeth jump.

5.  In shops at Christmas time, you get stands with lengths of tinsel in different colours draped over them.  I like to stroke these, surreptitiously.

6.  I am a size 10 gym-bunnie.

7.  My hamster has chewed a hole in his expensive, posh water bottle and I can't replace it.

8.  There is honey fungus in my garden.

Right ... off to pick my victims ...